OKAY SOOOOOOO I actually don't listen to D=out so I had to search what Ibuki looked like and he was so cute but, I liked Kouki more cuz he looked so adorable wtf sadbfijabkjcndjknck
OKAY so for the comment, idk what I expected man... It's you XD THE SHOUJO FLOWERY PATH WITH ROSES AND SHIT IS ALL HERE OMGEH WHAT KIND OG ANIME NOVEL AM I READING HOMAYGASH THIS WAS SO SWEET AND FLUFFY I LITERALLY FELT LIKE I GOT DIABETES FROM THIS FUCKING FANFIC WTF WTF THIS IS bciawbfjbasjkfcke #dead
But so far, the flow was good and events all seemed so lined up together and perfect that each scene that lead up to the other was perfect. Like, you guys literally wrote a good dynamic of showing the reader's Ibuki and Kazuki's relationship. We got a good in-depth read of what they're like, their personalities, their history, and their way of thinking and such. That was good work!!
Every scene was good and I like how it ended lol
And now for some critics.
That part where they were in a park and all of a sudden Kazuki carried Ibuki it confused the fuck out of me. In a way, you guys didn't specify how exactly Kazuki was carrying Ibuki so I nearly fucking fell off of my chair when it said there that Kazuki carried Ibuki on his back and I was like wtf????
Did Kazuki throw Ibuki up in the air then, catch him piggy back style????? Like yo????? I think that's where you guys should've been a little more specific cuz that's where a lot of writers confuse their readers, when it comes to carrying the other person lol another imagination was Ibuki twisting his legs broken from the back just so he could wrap his legs around Kazuki's waist like wtf
So far that's my only comment for a critic lol
This part on the other hand, isn't really a critic but just some complaining on my part cuz I'm a lil shit
Kazuki seemed so mean here and it made me dislike him a little ;w; I felt like he was a bit controlling over Ibuki? Also, that part where he on purposely spilled juice on Ibuki's clothes JUST so he can force Ibuki to wear the clothes he wanted was just so... Controlling? like really man, I didn't like that part about Kazuki.
Sometimes, Ibuki says no and he doesn;t want to do things and Kazuki can be so pushy so like, alarm bells ringing for me lololololol But I think the only reason I got thinking like this is that there wasn't much depth on Ibuki's thought or actions here that made it suggest to Kazuki that was just acting like some sort of tsundere? Maybe there was that element mixed in there that I didn't notice??? ouo
And that's that for this part lol
NOW FOR MY FAVOURITE SENTENCES IN THE FANFIC LOL
"What was so great about that tall, handsome, funny guy? He was just was tall, handsome, and funny! He was going to make Ibuki see that one day. "
UHMMMM EXCUSE YOU KOUKI! THIS DUDE IS LITERALLY MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS JUST FROM WHAT YOU SAID AHAHHAHAHA #offendedbykouki
Okay, I am starting to dislike Kouki because of his overly comfortable touchy-feely personality e.e
I want to like Kouki but e.e
"Why couldn’t he have been more audacious? Mickey Mouse kissed Minnie Mouse, so why couldn’t he do the same? "
Kazuki, you guys ain't animated character stfu homaygash
"he reached out to hug Ibuki and whispered in his ear, almost to a hush, afraid that saying it any louder would ruin the moment, “Can’t you tell?”"
No Kazuki. APPARENTLY NO. HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED THAT YOU BOTH HAVE BEEN TIP TOEING AROUND EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG GODDAMMIT.
"It was rare for him to unmask himself because he didn’t want anyone to see the real him. After all, he was afraid of being tossed aside after they were done with him."
This part irked me a little cuz Ibuki and Kazuki had been in that same predicament of having a moment and Ibuki literally asked him a serious question and Kazuki made a joke out of it so I am a bit pissed OuO
no subject
OKAY so for the comment, idk what I expected man... It's you XD THE SHOUJO FLOWERY PATH WITH ROSES AND SHIT IS ALL HERE OMGEH WHAT KIND OG ANIME NOVEL AM I READING HOMAYGASH THIS WAS SO SWEET AND FLUFFY I LITERALLY FELT LIKE I GOT DIABETES FROM THIS FUCKING FANFIC WTF WTF THIS IS bciawbfjbasjkfcke #dead
But so far, the flow was good and events all seemed so lined up together and perfect that each scene that lead up to the other was perfect. Like, you guys literally wrote a good dynamic of showing the reader's Ibuki and Kazuki's relationship. We got a good in-depth read of what they're like, their personalities, their history, and their way of thinking and such. That was good work!!
Every scene was good and I like how it ended lol
And now for some critics.
That part where they were in a park and all of a sudden Kazuki carried Ibuki it confused the fuck out of me. In a way, you guys didn't specify how exactly Kazuki was carrying Ibuki so I nearly fucking fell off of my chair when it said there that Kazuki carried Ibuki on his back and I was like wtf????
Did Kazuki throw Ibuki up in the air then, catch him piggy back style????? Like yo????? I think that's where you guys should've been a little more specific cuz that's where a lot of writers confuse their readers, when it comes to carrying the other person lol another imagination was Ibuki twisting his legs broken from the back just so he could wrap his legs around Kazuki's waist like wtf
So far that's my only comment for a critic lol
This part on the other hand, isn't really a critic but just some complaining on my part cuz I'm a lil shit
Kazuki seemed so mean here and it made me dislike him a little ;w; I felt like he was a bit controlling over Ibuki? Also, that part where he on purposely spilled juice on Ibuki's clothes JUST so he can force Ibuki to wear the clothes he wanted was just so... Controlling? like really man, I didn't like that part about Kazuki.
Sometimes, Ibuki says no and he doesn;t want to do things and Kazuki can be so pushy so like, alarm bells ringing for me lololololol But I think the only reason I got thinking like this is that there wasn't much depth on Ibuki's thought or actions here that made it suggest to Kazuki that was just acting like some sort of tsundere? Maybe there was that element mixed in there that I didn't notice??? ouo
And that's that for this part lol
NOW FOR MY FAVOURITE SENTENCES IN THE FANFIC LOL
"What was so great about that tall, handsome, funny guy? He was just was tall, handsome, and funny! He was going to make Ibuki see that one day. "
UHMMMM EXCUSE YOU KOUKI! THIS DUDE IS LITERALLY MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS JUST FROM WHAT YOU SAID AHAHHAHAHA #offendedbykouki
Okay, I am starting to dislike Kouki because of his overly comfortable touchy-feely personality e.e
I want to like Kouki but e.e
"Why couldn’t he have been more audacious? Mickey Mouse kissed Minnie Mouse, so why couldn’t he do the same? "
Kazuki, you guys ain't animated character stfu homaygash
"he reached out to hug Ibuki and whispered in his ear, almost to a hush, afraid that saying it any louder would ruin the moment, “Can’t you tell?”"
No Kazuki. APPARENTLY NO. HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED THAT YOU BOTH HAVE BEEN TIP TOEING AROUND EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG GODDAMMIT.
"It was rare for him to unmask himself because he didn’t want anyone to see the real him. After all, he was afraid of being tossed aside after they were done with him."
This part irked me a little cuz Ibuki and Kazuki had been in that same predicament of having a moment and Ibuki literally asked him a serious question and Kazuki made a joke out of it so I am a bit pissed OuO